The Cosmically Unlikely Case of Becky Wilson’s Handbag
I am writing this report today to address an object of interest which appeared on my desk recently. It was brought to my attention when it tore a hole in time, thousands of years long, seemingly at absolute random.
The scientific implications of this are enormous. The pure and sprawling improbability of something randomly flicking from one moment in time and space to another is staggering. Of course, as soon as I learned of its existence I had it brought to my lab for study and ascertain how this occurred. I want to know what makes it special, why it can do this. I was able to pull DNA from both the animal it was crafted out of, and the creature who owned it. Through their DNA, I was able to download the complete memory stores of each to my personal computer. These are my findings.
The creature the bag was made out of was called a “cow” and its life was largely uneventful. It was born in the dark and quickly separ