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Dear You

You are a hurricane.
You are a volcano.
You are a flurry of beautiful violence;
A plume of volcanic ash cast into the sky.

You are all the voices of the world;
A scream and a whisper and a sigh.
You are the beauty of the earth;
An exquisite wildfire, divine in its destruction.

And you are so strong.
You are stronger than this weight on your shoulders,
You are stronger than this emptiness in your chest,
You are stronger than all these things that dare get in your way.

You will charge past these things;
These regrets, these desires, these insecurities.
You will get through every pitfall and mistake and slipup,
And you’ll be made better for it.

You are unbeatable, unconquerable and unstoppable.
Every obstacle, an opportunity,
Every failure, a lesson.
You will beat this because you are better than this.

You will beat this because you are you.
And that is a powerful thing.
Sometimes people need to be reminded that they are badasses who can do anything.

Comments very much appreciated!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconwolfprincess87:
This is a beautiful and empowering piece of literature. The descriptiveness and imagery this portarys is beautiful. The powerful message in this poem rings true for myself and I am sure many others. My favorite piece of this would have to be the beginning. The words 'a flurry of beautiful violence' are gorgeous, the images that come to mind are beautiful and powerful! This poem if full of powerful encouragement. It certainly gives me a sense of strength and accomplishment. To be able to face difficulties and challenges in life are important in shaping us into who we are. Making us stronger and able to help others. Nicely done.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
1 out of 1 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconsolaces:
First, let me start off by saying it's such a pleasure to read a poem on the front page that isn't generic nonsense! So keep in mind that while I can be nit-picky, it's because I see quite a bit of potential here.

The first stanza is perfect. It sets the tone of the poem succinctly and elegantly, using just the right words to paint the picture. The second stanza, too, is quite powerful. I particularly like the second line.

I think after this point, though, the poem becomes a little less forceful, the diction not as nearly as strong as it is in the first two stanzas. The emotional impact is there, as is a sense of rhythm. The words themselves, though, are just a bit sluggish.

I think one of the issues may be that you don't really expand on the natural disaster metaphor introduced in the first stanza (hurricane, volcano). You started off with great images like "
"a flurry of beautiful violence" and "a plume of volcanic ash cast into the sky" that are so specific. In the next few stanzas, the descriptions are too vague and general. Regrets, insecurities, desires? These things are great to explore and all, but what are their significance? What is so important about them and how can they relate to the metaphor established in the first stanza?

I think that's what this poem needs, its images better established. And if you can do this, this will be a very strong piece indeed!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
8 out of 8 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconmonsoon19:
Monsoon19 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013
This is beautiful!
Reply
:iconcjsylvester:
cjsylvester Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:') thank-you
Reply
:iconyaoi-bugg:
yaoi-bugg Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013
today was one of those days that i spent alone, thinking about everything i had to deal with all at once
so i decided to see what dA had for me and ran into this
it was just what i needed
thank you :]
Reply
:icondahntildusk:
dahntildusk Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Can I say that I loved this before I even finished reading it? I felt drawn to it... if that's a thing.


If not, oh well. I really liked this~
Reply
:iconturtlemelon17:
turtlemelon17 Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
Truly and completely inspirational! I absolutely love this. Thank you!
Reply
:iconthegreathsilgne:
TheGreatHsilgne Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2013
I can do anything!
Just take a look. It's in a book:
A READING RAINBOW!
Reply
:iconrosescarlet:
RoseScarlet Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Student Writer
That's really beautiful!
Reply
:iconchonideno:
Chonideno Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012
I have to thank you from the deepest part of what I am. Sometimes, we actually have to be reminded what we are capable of and you did it pretty well.
Reply
:iconsapphirablue:
SapphiraBlue Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This poem made my day. I love it. The first stanza is my favorite.
Reply
:iconphsycotatie:
PhsycoTatie Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Student Digital Artist
powerful and touching
Reply
:iconshirogiku:
shirogiku Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012
Perfect!<3 Thank you so much!;3
Reply
:iconpolqify:
polqify Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I needed such words, thanks :hug:
Reply
:iconboneappetit:
Boneappetit Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Nice very nice work, very powerful !!!
Reply
:iconbeyondthemanifesto:
beyondthemanifesto Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student Photographer
Thank you for this. It is so beautiful, especially since I needed to hear it right now. :)
Reply
:iconangry-horse-for-life:
angry-horse-for-life Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This deserves a DD
Reply
:iconlolaness:
lolaness Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Simply put: powerful. Imagery that backs up the words in ways that are truly and sincerely inspiring. Thank you.
Reply
:iconflaunteddemise:
FlauntedDemise Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Thank you! This is lovely and very uplifting. :heart:
Reply
:iconridgen:
Ridgen Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student General Artist
Lovely c:
Reply
:iconartemisa:
Artemisa Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Make me feel much better with this :)
Reply
:iconfallendanceangel:
FallenDanceAngel Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It is beautiful :heart::happycry:
Reply
:iconadonael:
Adonael Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wicked use of metaphors at the start and powerfully written - a proper call to arms poem!

The format helped with the delivery I think as well!
Reply
:iconescapingtruth03:
escapingTruth03 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
absolutely amazing. made my day :)
Reply
:iconfrozen-fyre:
frozen-fyre Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
*hug* I'm grateful to see some positive thinking and compassionate encouragement out there! Your poem is a true gift.
Reply
:iconforget-me-not-fields:
Forget-Me-Not-Fields Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This is so beautiful :)
You captured the essence of something so hard to catch in words :heart:
This poem will help a lot of people :love:
Reply
:iconesmeethecat:
EsmeeTheCat Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
OMG That just describes my life exactly, thanks now I have something I can read over and over again whenerver I feel down. It makes me feel good!!! :hug: :heart:
Reply
:iconboxcarchildren:
BoxcarChildren Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012
thanks I need to be less depressed you helped gane a little bit of it from your poem.
Reply
:iconmangasen:
MangaSen Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This is beautiful!
Reply
:iconpeacenrage:
peacenrage Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012
thanks
Reply
:iconramemo1:
ramemo1 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Student Writer
agree!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconhocuspocusfocus:
HocusPocusFocus Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
"You are a hurricane.
You are a volcano.
You are a flurry of beautiful violence
"

Funny, that was how my teachers of first grade defined me.

I liked this. Really nice indeed.
Reply
:iconiamsarahjo:
iamsarahjo Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012
beautiful words. very up-lifting.
Reply
:iconqweenseeker:
qweenseeker Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012
wow. that is really something. it is exactly what i needed to hear today.
Reply
:iconmrbeavis19:
mrbeavis19 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I love you. Lmao, but no really, I needed this. Thank you :)
Reply
:iconjashiku:
Jashiku Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012
We all need some encouragement, and a reminder of our own strength. Thank you for this : D.
Reply
:iconmad-hat-ink:
mad-hat-ink Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Student Digital Artist
First off, amazing poem!
Some random suggestions just based on my thoughts, which aren't worth much, but here ya go:

"You are a hurricane.
You are a volcano.
You are a flurry of beautiful violence;" -- this is what caught my attention and I think it is perfect. beautiful language and powerful word choices.

"A plume of volcanic ash cast into the sky." this is where you lost me bc the language isn't as pretty and strong as what came before it. I think I'm looking for a stronger word than "cast", maybe? A more violent/actiony word? I'm not sure. maybe say magma instead of volcanic? might sound hotter. A plume of magma thrust into the sky? A plume of... I dunno. Just thinking "out loud" here.

I didn't click after reading that line I quoted above, but then I saw you had 163 comments so I decided to read it and clicked then read the whole thing. The rest is extremely fucking beautiful.


only other comment, I don't think you need the last line, the "And that is a powerful thing." bit. To me, it's already clear and strong without that. But since your audience is probably more general than literary (though literary too)--according to your purpose for writing this poem, maybe leave it? Wow, talk about contradicting myself huh? Lol anyways...those are my thoughts! Really inspiring piece and I am sure I will re-read when I need encouragement... Thank you, tribble-of-doom!
Reply
:iconsilverstripe1204:
Silverstripe1204 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
awesomesauce!
Reply
:iconkeidream:
keidream Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012
This is so gorgeous and empowering. I feel like you're speaking directly to me. Thank you.
Reply
:iconemerald17:
emerald17 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh my gosh I love this.
Reply
:iconfribblescribble:
FribbleScribble Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012
<3 Very beautiful, and congratulations on getting on the front page :3
Reply
:iconwakedreaming:
wakedreaming Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012
This is absolutely beautiful. It all fits together so well.
Reply
:icongrim---reaper:
Grim---Reaper Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012
Nice one. Was a real pleasure to read :] Nice how you made it kinda "fierce" but at the same time gentle~
Reply
:iconalparsln:
alparsln Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012
Cool but I think it's not very emotional. I haven't felt anything but maybe It's just me.
Reply
:iconbullcross:
Bullcross Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
How did you get so many views with no groups :| ?
Reply
:icontribble-of-doom:
tribble-of-doom Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Black magic and dark rituals
Reply
:iconstanxiety:
Stanxiety Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Hobbyist
She has 6,073 watchers.
Reply
:iconsmeagolisme:
smeagolisme Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Professional General Artist
I loved this poetry, tribble-of-doom!...
I have been feeling miserable for sa while...like many times in my life, and...I guess I really needed to read something like this!...Your wonderful words seemed to speak directly to my heart, and for a moment you made me believe I could beat anything which hurt or delayed me.
THANK YOU FOR WRITTING IT! :iconsmeagolsmileplz::heart:
Reply
:iconnull-unit001:
null-unit001 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Professional General Artist
you are probably my mom
Reply
:icontribble-of-doom:
tribble-of-doom Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
how did u kno, huny?
Reply
:iconnull-unit001:
null-unit001 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012  Professional General Artist
how did you know??!??
Reply
:iconi--am--nobody:
I--am--Nobody Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2012
Very nice ! I'm Belgian therefore I do not well understand your words, but it's magic and so beautiful ! I really like it !
Reply
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